As the Saugus pizza delivery professionals, Vincenzo’s Pizza is passionate about delivering fresh and substantial pizza pies for the general public. No secret there. But we’re also here to deliver fresh, substantial news updates about the pizza world.
We dive deep to dish out baking news, and go beyond the cheese to give you olive the truth. That’s what makes us the supreme (hold the mushrooms) news provider you can crust.
It’s time for another segment of A ‘Pizza’ The News.
Iceland President Decries Pineapple on Pizza
It’s not often that pizza is thrust onto the political stage. Even the most outspoken world leaders have failed to take a stance on pizza—until now. Iceland president Guðni Th. Jóhannesson recently stated that he firmly opposes pineapples on pizzas, although he’d never become the kind of leader who would drop saucy sanctions on his pizza-loving constituents:
“I like pineapples, just not on pizza. I do not have the power to make laws which forbid people to put pineapple on their pizza. I am glad I do not hold such power. Presidents should not have unlimited power. I would not want to hold this position if I could pass laws forbidding that which I don’t like. I would not want to live in such a country. For pizzas, I recommend seafood.”
That’s quite the fire-roasted take for a national leader, but one we can certainly get behind. Pizza always tastes better with some fresh-cut freedom on top.
Leaping Lizards! Iguanas Commit Grand Theft Pizza
Pizza theft is one of the most egregious crimes known to man—and while we will always keep a close eye on the pie when our friends and family are around, it’s our non-human companions who are often the most infamous pizza pickpockets.
Recently, an iguana was caught on camera stealing the last slice (THE LAST SLICE!) of a local man’s pizza as part of a multi-iguana pizza theft operation. These iguanas have not been apprehended, but it’s worth noting that a worldwide fly shortage has sent the iguana population into a reptilian rage, forcing them to find other means to survive.
Local police are currently in pursuit of the culprits. A recent press release by law enforcement stated, “We’ll leave no slice unturned.”
Pizza Prose Earns Student Spot at Yale
What did you write about on your college application essays? Hard work and dedication? Homework? Boring. A Tennessee teen took a cheesier route with her essay, and it worked so well, it got her into the school of her dreams. When prompted to write a Yale entrance essay on “Things You Love to Do,” 18-year-old Carolina Williams wrote about one of the greatest joys of the human experience: ordering a pizza.
In truth, her essay was just a small slice of what got her into such a competitive school. She had a solid GPA, excellent test scores, and a long list of extracurriculars, including National Honors Society, Model UN, and a whole lot of volunteer work.
Somebody order this girl a pizza.
That’s it for this edition of “A Pizza The News.” Stay tuned for more breaking pizza updates, and until then, order yourself a pizza.