Pizza is like politics—it can bring people together, and it can tear them apart. Just when you think you know your best friend or your mom or your significant other, they make the tiniest, most subtly offensive comment, leaving you to question the shred of moral and logical fiber upon which they stand.
How could they be more wrong? You think to yourself. What kind of sick, sad world do they live in? I should give them a pizza my mind.
In the world of pizza, these thoughts can be all too real. Most people have similar views on pizza politics, but there’s a single sentence that can instantly divide our cheesy, saucey nation, sending the closest compadres into a spin cycle of disagreement, hatred, and denial:
“Let’s put some pineapple on that pizza.”
This polarizing statement has ended friendships, torn families apart, and reduced great empires to ashes. It’s not an argument about the tastiness of an oddly-shaped tropical fruit—it’s an argument about pineapple’s role in pizza society.
On one side of the argument, pineapple does not align with the basic, traditional values of the pizza world—after all, pizza is a place for meat, cheese, and occasionally, a vegetable (but only if there’s enough meat and cheese on the pizza that you can’t taste the vegetable). Fruit on a pizza? That’s like putting chocolate pudding on a caesar salad—it just doesn’t make any sense.
The other side of the argument is a progressive, open-minded one—a platform of pizza acceptance. What kind of arbitrary “rulebook” dictates what should or shouldn’t be on a pizza, anyway? People must reject social constructs that determine what a pizza should be and instead focus on what pizza could be. They shouldn’t feel the need to hide their true pizza personalities—they should celebrate their love of the salty-sweet combo of fresh pineapple and hearty mozzarella cheese, and the haters should accept that. Only then will the pizza world live in harmony.
So what’s the solution to this pizza problem? As the Saugus pizza delivery experts, Vincenzo’s Pizza of Saugus has a solution that will settle the score between pizza purists and pizza progressives: Just buy two pizzas already.
It’s not hard for our pizza delivery guy to give you two pizzas instead of one—he could carry two dozen pizzas barefoot across a floor covered in Legos… with his eyes closed. Plus, he’ll be happy to know that with two pizzas, both parties will be completely satisfied, and will have some extra pizza waiting for them in the fridge the next morning.
Two orders of pizza, for delivery. One order of pizza harmony, for everyone. Check out our menu today.