Your family is in the mood for the best pizza in Saugus—but with four family members comes four different pizza preferences. We already know what happens when two family members disagree on the pineapple on a pizza debate, but what if it’s a battle between meats and veggies, or a standoff between classic cheese and powerful pepperoni?
It’s a pizza-dential debate, and only one pizza can win the hearts of you and your family members. Pizzas, it’s time to make your opening statements.
Cheese: Cheese We Can Believe In
Sometimes, the best choice is the classic choice. I was the first pizza you ever had—I made it to all of your post-baseball game celebrations and birthday parties, and I was there when you ordered pizza four nights in a row because your girlfriend dumped you (the Saugus pizza delivery guy remembers, too). I might not be the flashiest choice, but have I ever let you down before? Choose a pizza that’s always delicious, and always there. Choose cheese.
Pepperoni: Peace and Pepperoni
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I’m just like cheese pizza, but better. What do I have to offer that cheese doesn’t? 50 percent pure pepper, and 50 percent unapologetic oni. This, I can promise you.
Cheese pizza might fail to mention it, but I’ve been there for you, too. In fact, I’m basically everywhere cheese pizza is! You know why? Because a great number of people prefer pepperoni pizza to cheese pizza—people like you. I’m the perfect pizza, no matter which way you slice me.
BBQ Chicken: A Leader, For Chicken
Establishment pizza like cheese and pepperoni are the real problem in the pizza world. Who says you have to conform to traditional pizza values anyway? I don’t just advocate for pizza people—I advocate for BBQ chicken people, too. Divided, we fall. But together, we make a delicious BBQ chicken pizza. That’s the unity and diversity your family needs.
Meat Lover’s: Yes We Can-adian Bacon
I don’t have to say anything to earn your vote— except that I’m made of canadian bacon, pepperoni, sausage, and full-size meatballs. MEATBALLS. You’re welcome, and God Bless Pizza Night.
Vegetarian: I’m With Herbs
The attitude of meat lover’s pizza is EXACTLY what’s wrong with the pizza world today! You need vegetables to be healthy and happy—so why not have them on a huge piece of cheesy bread? Out with pepperoni, in with bell peppers! It’s a pizza revolution!
And the winner is…
You. You are the winner. Pick a pie from your Saugus pizza guys, and pick a different one next week. Then, pick another one the next week. But whatever you do, don’t forget to order a pizza tonight.